So what IS a Kabbalah Wedding anyway? What is Kabbalah to begin with?

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The Teachings of Kabbalah

The general idea about Kabbalah is that it is a new-age faith (or as sensational tabloids like to call it, cult religion) that is somehow connected to Judaism. In truth, Kabbalistic beliefs and practices have influenced Judaism for centuries and the word ‘Kabbalah’ itself refers largely to a body of mystical, esoteric (read: elitist) Jewish teachings that began somewhere in medieval Europe. Much like what Sufism is to Islam, Kabbalists explore the existence of man and his association with God in many ways – while remaining, at the core, based on Judaism.

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From Medieval to Prime Time

So, if Kabbalah is Jewish by nature, how did its largely Christian star-studded followers find their way to it? One name comes to fore when we talk about the “new-age-fication” of Kabbalah: Philip Berg, the man behind the International Kabbalah Centres popping up all around the world.

According to Berg, Kabbalah is a “spiritual technology” that is meant to bring peace to the entire world, and is meant for people from every race and religion.

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The Spiritual Union of Kabbalah

So then, how IS a Kabbalah Wedding any different from a normal one? Well, a section of the Kabbalah Centre’s website explains in great detail about this. It explains that a Kabbalah wedding is “full of understanding, wisdom, and connections that essentially sew two soul-halves together, creating one new whole soul”.

Hmm. If some of you are wondering how all this sounds like a normal wedding (with a heck of a lot more spiritualism involved), don’t fret – there’s a few more steps needed to make it a complete Kabbalah Wedding.

According to the Kabbalah Centre, these steps are “Seven Blessings recited in this process (of sewing souls together), some readings from the Zohar (the central, 13th century Kabbalistic text), from Psalms, and other key factors”.

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In Layman’s Terms?

Well, in short, it would actually look very much like a traditional Jewish wedding, plus the stuff involving the Zohar, Psalms and some other things (the very vague “key factors” stated above).

Even the “Seven Blessings” part is taken directly from a normal Jewish wedding, in which they are called the “Sheva Brachot”. They are blessings for wine, creation, the creation of humanity, human reproduction, the future of Zion, the happiness of the bride and groom, and that the reign of love and peace is restored in Jerusalem.

As for the “Jewish Wedding Ceremony” itself, it would start with the bride walking around in a circle around the groom (to scare off any demons bent on ruining their union) followed by the reading of a Ketubah (a Jewish wedding contract). The matter is then settled and the Groom will now be free to stamp on a wine glass (YES, they actually do this).

So, these are technically what goes on in a Kabbalah Wedding. Whether or not it is of actual spiritual importance is still up for grabs, although a mystical, esoteric Jewish wedding ceremony filled with chanting and other mysterious stuff does sound kind of fun.

I’m sure there will be some of our readers who might think, “Heck, why not?”

Picture by Lt. Victor Jorgensen, courtesy of www.littlesomething-something.blogspot.com

Nowadays, we find that more and more married couples are forced to face the realities of being separated from each other, most often due to the requirements of work or education. Today, the WGA crew covers this issue and takes a look at insights from people who have experienced this firsthand.

According to a 2004 study of about 200 long-distance married couples done by Purdue University’s Center for the Study of Long-Distance Relationships, the average couple in this representative sample lived apart for 14 months and saw each other one and a half times a month. They reported speaking on the phone with their partners every 2.7 days.

Interestingly, this study also showed that partners in marriages living apart were not more likely to have extramarital affairs, and these marriages showed no difference in divorce rates.

Specifically, couples in the study above cite four other main issues that stem from living apart from each other, as can be seen below.

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Maintaining interrelatedness

With your partner being miles away, it is hard for any couple to maintain the feeling of being a couple.

Elle (not her real name), a veteran of a long-distance marriage cited most of the same issues when she agreed to an interview. With her husband abroad often for months at a time, the greatest killer to a long-distance marriage is often when a couple allows themselves to think that they can manage fine without each other at all.

“A couple living far apart often develops this idea that they can manage fine alone. If you don’t handle it, soon you will actually start thinking that you might be better off on your own, which pretty much signals a game over for the whole relationship.”

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The tendency to avoid difficult topics for discussion when together

After spending so much time apart, it tends to be hard for a couple to get down and dirty discussing problems that have cropped up within that time, whether it has to do with the marriage itself or anything else.

“When you’re together, all you want to think about is being happy because you’re with each other – when in reality there are often not-so-happy things that need to be discussed. Some couples I know skip this altogether only to have it accumulate and snowball into a big mess later,” says Elle on the subject.

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The limitations of long-distance communication

Often, couples forced to spend time apart are limited only to the phone or something text-based (SMS, e-mails) as the primary form of communication. Stripped of the basic visual cues and nuances that enrich normal face-to-face communication, even the simplest of arguments often become insurmountable.

“You’re never really sure what he means when he says something, and after a while you sometimes even stop trying to guess. Something that can easily make a normal argument turn into an ugly one.”

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Limited time for sexual intimacy

Not only does the couple have to face the problems of communication and keeping the “us” in the relationship meaningful, often the lack of contact means a lack of sexual intimacy.

“You just have no time for each other, and sometimes when I’m in the mood, he’s usually too tired for any action at all. And vice versa.”

When pressed on what she thinks is the most important part of a long-distance relationship, Elle has this to say:

“It’s probably all about communications and the ability to keep the relationship in proper perspective with everything else going on.”

There you have it, our loyal readers. Hopefully, with this outline, couples that are on the verge of being apart can be better prepared to plan for what’s in store for them.

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India has long been regarded as a treasure trove of rich culture and it remains one of the most colourful locations on the planet. No surprise then for this Bollywood-style wedding video from Keng’s Cinematography to be one of the coolest I’ve seen this year, and an instant favourite!

Video courtesy of WGA vendor Keng’s Cinematography.

The wedding was held at The Oberoi, one of the most luxurious hotels in New Delhi. Get this: the grandeur of the event made this the wedding of the year for Keng’s videographers!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Congratulations, Pooja and Karan!

If you like what you see, get in touch with Keng’s Cinematography via their website or LWB page.

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“I take thee, to be my lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish…

…till another wife (or two or thirty) shall join us.”

Not exactly what you had in mind? Welcome to the world of modern day polygamy.

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See, like most things we continue to debate, polygamy started out with good intentions. Back in Biblical times, it was common practice to have more than one wife in order to have more children. And even when Islam came along, they decided it was an idea worth retaining. Why? Maybe because the multitude of wars our ancestors fought (Crusades included) killed a whole lot of men and left a whole lot of husband-less women behind with no one to care for them except for the few left behind (Fun fact: This is a pretty good example of reverse-Darwinism, considering how only the best were selected for war, but we’ll discuss that in another article).

Wars fought and won (or lost) years on and some smaller nations such as Sudan still continue to encourage this, all in the name of politics – you have to increase the population somehow, right? The concubine system worked too well for China; they had to implement a one-child policy, even. But anyway, people today seem to have taken a shine to modern-day fertility treatments and have thus allowed the multiple-marriage thing to take a backseat.

However, some places like Utah still practice polygamy on a frighteningly large scale. Believe it or not, they even have ranches for the families who have specifically created their very own community (or small country). And they’re proud of it.

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Families such as the Browns (from reality TV show Sister Wives) stand by their principles. It’s far better than having people sneak around with anyone and everyone, having illicit relations and leaving other people in danger of broken hearts and sexually transmitted diseases. The marriages are open and honest, loving and accepting, and in a sense much healthier that way – emotionally, at least.

Very organized polygamous households can also run rather smoothly due to the necessity – and thus, existence – of daily schedules for chores, babysitting, and yes, conjugal duties. In some cases, they may even put the average monogamous partnership to shame.

Which could explain why they would want to fight the illegalisation of polygamy. But not every story has a happy ending.

Pictures courtesy of Associated Press and Getty Images

The sad truth is, for many cases, polygamy is the ultimate nightmare. It’s torture for many to think of their husbands with other women, and it’s generally disturbing to think of yourself as just another feather in his cap (to put it politely). And then there’s the children. And there’s also what may happen when the children are no longer children.

If you read the papers in 2009, you may recall Raymond Merril Jessop – the polygamist cult member who was convicted of sexually assaulting a 16-year-old girl (given to him in marriage at just 15, as one of nine wives) who later gave birth to his daughter. And as if that wasn’t disturbing enough, the police who raided the ranch found evidence of underage marriage and many more pregnant teenagers. Officials ended up removing almost 440 children.

If you think marrying a cousin is wrong, imagine marrying your stepchildren like some polygamists do. It’s child abuse – of the worst kind.

Pictures courtesy of www.asiaone.com and www.sg.theasianparent.com

Now what happens when you don’t get along and things don’t work out, even with the daily schedule? Who gets what? Who takes care of who? Can you even get lawyers to help you out if the marriage was not recognized as a legal union? And that’s assuming there’s anything worth fighting for.

Take for example this man who married 39 wives, and has 94 children, 14 daughters-in-law (don’t ask me why he apparently has no sons-in-law), and 33 grandchildren. That’s 181 family members living in a four-storey building with 100 rooms. If your arithmetic is not that good, pay attention: 181 does not equal to 100. I don’t want and I don’t need to know who’s forced to share what with who – all I can see is not everybody in the picture above has a smile on their face and I can pretty much guess why.

This family could still be considered lucky. Imagine other situations in which the wives and children are scattered all over the village with little or no provisions, simply because a man who felt he could love 10 women hadn’t quite figured out how to pay for 10 monthly grocery bills and put 50 children through school.

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Regardless of civil law, Islam allows polygamy under the condition that the husband obtains his wife’s permission (wives’, for subsequent marriages) and is later able to equally provide for all wives and offspring – the word ‘provide’ being applied to all aspects: financial, physical, emotional (good luck with measuring something as abstract as love), spiritual etc. And FYI, too many men have ignored the part about obtaining permission, and some even go so far as to discontinue providing for their first (maybe even second and third) wives. And there was nothing the women could do about it – in Islam, men hold the authority to divorce at will.

But the new millennium seems to have brought with it a change: more Muslim women young and old are opposing polygamy – mainly because they have seen how difficult it can be for men to ensure they are equally fair to all family members. They’re fighting for their rights now. And yes, this includes even the more conservative hijab-clad women.

Which, I believe, is saying something.

What’s your stand on the topic, ladies? xoxo

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Capoeira

What: Created in Brazil, this art form is actually a combination of martial arts, sports, and of course, music.

We like it because: The moves are absolutely crazy and it’s wild and funky.

Celeb fan: Zabrina Fernandez, The Amazing Race Asia Season 1.

Picture courtesy of www.spectable.com

Bellydance

What: Also known as oriental dance or Middle Eastern dance, this was originally an Arab tribal dance for the goddess of fertility.

We like it because: It’s sexy, it’s sensual, and it’ll definitely keep your guests awake.

Celeb fan: The legendary Hugh Hefner.

Picture courtesy of www.faltooclub.com

Bhangra

What: A folk dance from the Punjabi community. Once danced to celebrate the harvest, Bhangra is still very much alive in many social gatherings around the world.

We like it because: It works up an appetite and the beat of the dhol (drum) is just infectious.

Celeb fan: Salman Khan.

Picture courtesy of www.giftlog.com

Didgeridoo Orchestra

What: An Australian wind instrument played as an accompaniment to ceremonial singing and dancing. Also used in storytelling.

We like it because: There’s just nothing quite like it.

Celeb fan: Danish Crown Prince Frederik and his Aussie bride Mary Donaldson.

Picture courtesy of www.noorleenfazel.blogspot.com

Zapin

What: Popular in Malaysia and Indonesia, it was believed to have been introduced by Arabs in the 14th century. Back then, it was only danced by men and reserved for religious ceremonies.

We like it because: It’s fast and energetic, yet still one of the most polite dances.

Celeb fan: Johor Royal Family.

Feeling the beat, ladies? xoxo

Beautiful couples certainly make for beautiful weddings. For Emi Stames and Jimmy Apichai, there’s no doubt that theirs was picture perfect given she’s a famous model in Thailand and he was one of Bangkok’s eligible bachelors. Since Jimmy is half-Malaysian, the two thought it would be something special to take a trip down to The Westin Langkawi for their Malay wedding ceremony.

With friends flying in from all over the world and the blue skies of the island as their backdrop, we love these stunning wedding pics (and the party! Hint: scroll down).

Photos courtesy of: Kid Chan Photography

Don’t you love Emi’s kebaya? She was in Kuala Lumpur for the day and happened to come across the wedding designer Lynda Rahim’s boutique, which was full of “beautiful pieces”.

Being in her early twenties, I asked Emi if she had any qualms about marrying at an age which society (nowadays) considers ‘young’?
“I guess I have married young, but I think when you feel settled and secured that this person is the one for you, it becomes natural and it doesn’t matter what age you are…”

The akad nikah ceremony, the traditional Malay solemnization, was held on the Westin’s “float”. As Jimmy is Muslim, Emi converted to Islam as well (although in Thailand it isn’t a legality as it is in M’sia). Her thoughts on changing religion?

“I grew up in a home that didn’t focus on one particular religion… my dad raised me well and taught me the positive aspects of all religions – which is mostly to be a good person and be good to others. He himself appreciated many Eastern religions so converting wasn’t strange to me…”

Well, it must be meant to be, because after the ceremony Emi said there was a slight drizzle and huge rainbow in the sky :)

The troops! Bridesmaids and groomsmen galore.

So if all your friends fly in from around the world, there’s no excuse not to celebrate, oui?

With dinner held by the beach, whilst everyone wined and dined – traditional dancers and firebreathers (yes that’s what they’re called!) got the party started.

*Ahem*, although as someone who personally knows Emi and Jimmy, I don’t think they needed any help in that department! Hehe.

Last words:
Emi: “I just knew he was the one, he’s my best friend and we can’t do anything without each other. Being married to Jimmy is wonderful because he’s my best friend, soulmate and he makes me smile every single day.”

Jimmy: “As the saying goes, a small part of it was truly “love at first sight”. Everything about her left me wanting more. Her mannerism, humour, love of life, intelligence and wit. It was an insatiable feeling and I pursued her. However, upon getting to know Emi better – that’s when I truly fell in love with her. She has so many great qualities but most important to me was her love, loyalty and appreciation for family. The day I knew she was “the one” was the day I thought to myself “this is the person I want to be the mother of my child.” And so she is!

*  From the WGA team, a big thank you to Emi and Jimmy for sharing your love and these dreamy pics, which have got us daydreaming of a trip far away!

The poster boys for same-sex marriage everywhere - Elton John & David Furnish. Picture courtesy of AFP.

It’s time again for one of those “controversial” articles in the world of marriages and civil unions (relatively, anyway): Same-sex marriages and how it is all around the world today.

But before we go any further, let’s quickly define what we’re talking about. Same-sex marriages here generally mean state or national-level legal sanction for the marriage between two people of the same sex (including all the legal rights that come with it), also known as “marriage equality”.

So, disregarding the massive religious controversy that surrounds the topic, which countries in the world has FULL legal support for marriage equality? Just ten, unfortunately.

Countries With Legal Support of Same-sex Marriages

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Since 2001 up to now, only these ten countries fully support marriage equality: Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Iceland, the Netherlands, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa, and Sweden.

Similarly, same-sex marriages are also performed and recognized in Mexico City and parts of the United States, meaning while the country itself as a whole does not support marriage equality, some constituencies within the country itself does.

For Israel, the Caribbean countries of the Kingdom of the Netherlands, some other parts of the United States, and all states of Mexico, same-sex marriages are not performed but recognized, meaning that unions consummated in other parts of the world are deemed legal in these locations.

Twenty-one other countries in the world only provide support for civil unions and registered partnerships between same-sex couples.

The Situation in the United States

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As can be seen from the quick explanation above, the marriage equality situation in the United States is complicated to say the least. Same-sex couples can legally marry in six states (Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont) and the District of Columbia and receive state-level benefits, while in New Jersey, Maryland, and Rhode Island, they cannot legally marry but unions performed elsewhere are recognized.

The legal issues surrounding same-sex marriage in the United States are complicated by the nation’s federal system of government. Circa 1996, the federal US government did not define marriage; any marriage recognized by a state was recognized by the federal government, even if that marriage was not recognized by one or more other states (as was the case with interracial marriage before 1967 due to anti-miscegenation laws).

With the passage of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) in 1996, however, a marriage was explicitly defined in federal law as a union of one man and one woman. As such, same-sex marriage is recognized only at the state level.

The Big Apple: Cauldron of Change

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Keeping in mind the volatile state of affairs when it comes to marriage equality in the United States, the situation in New York must be taken into consideration, as it is the state in which the most prominent change has occurred lately.

The big change occurred on July 24, 2011 under the Marriage Equality Act, which was passed on June 24, 2011 by the New York State Legislature and signed by Governor Andrew Cuomo on the same day. The Marriage Equality Act allows gender-neutral marriages for both same- and opposite-sex couples but at the same time allows religious organizations to decline from officiating or even recognizing any marriages against their doctrine (so everybody’s happy).

For same-sex couples, New York now shines as a beacon of hope that one day, more states across the US and more countries in the world will start to support marriage equality.

So, tell us – what do you think of this issue? Don’t be hatin’ ;)

Wedded couple Chris and Pisey

More and more, destination weddings are quickly becoming the “in-thing” – but what about wandering off the beaten track? Malaysian wedding planners Eileen Lui and Leticia decided to do just that when they set up their company, The Wedding Planners, in Cambodia. Home to famous Angkor Wat, Cambodia is also a country rich in history and scenery – making it the perfect place to have a wedding like no other.

So it’s no surprise we love these pics Eileen and Leticia sent us of Chris and Pisey’s traditional Cambodian wedding. Though Cambodia’s wedding industry is still very much developing – after six months of hard work they managed to pull off the wedding the way they envisioned, with help from both local and international vendors.

Held in Phnom Penh, Chris & Pisey embraced each other’s cultures by holding a typical Cambodian wedding, as well as a church service (see further below). As in most cultures, it’s customary that the groom arrive bearing gifts (yay for the bride!).

Luckily for Chris though – this means a bit of ‘star’ treatment as he’s got umbrellas on his side!

Unlike a Malay wedding where the couple sit quietly on the dais to greet guests, in a Cambodian wedding they stand at the entrance instead. Talk about a lot of gifts and food!

Presenting gifts to Pisey’s parents. I know we love big weddings here in Asia, but did you know that in Cambodia, it’s not unheard of to have over 2,000 guests at a wedding with only 50 tables. How do they do it? Well, once a table of ten has finished dinner, off they go to make way for the next ten!

Now that’s efficiency :)

Luckily for wedding planners Eileen and Leticia though, Chris and Pisey decided 150 guests were quite enough.

And if you’re looking to have a traditional Western wedding in Cambodia – yes, it can be done too! I haven’t seen such a pretty church wedding in a while. The rose petals against the white/beige church walls are simply storybook.

Forever and ever…

The evening reception that was held at The Raffles Hotel. Doesn’t Pisey look beautiful? Congratulations to both Chris and Pisey, and thank you again to Eileen and Leticia of The Wedding Planners for these fab pics.

* If you’re looking to have a Cambodian or Destination wedding in South East Asia, then perhaps drop The Wedding Planners a line via their website or LWB page.

Pictures courtesy of FIFOTO Photography.

They started off with the traditional Hindu temple ceremony. Is it just me or does the crowd look massive?

No Indian wedding would be complete without classical dancers ;)

I don’t get why Angeline is hiding her face – she looks gorgeous!

Love how the colours just pop in this picture…

Two worlds coming together: I think this shot says it all…

…as does this one! Time for the Chinese tea ceremony!

Now here’s an unusual angle – I think this is fabulous!

This intimate shot is another one of my favourites. Wonder where this was taken…

Congratulations, Angeline and Jeeves!

If you like these pictures, do get in touch with FIFOTO Photography via their website or LWB page xoxo

The great thing about working in the fashion industry is that you get to know some of the best people in the business! For her hair and make-up, make-up artist Chot gave her a soft smokey eye that went well with the gentle waves in her hair that was pulled to the side.

And if you’re loving Jaja’s classic & elegant baju kurung, it was created by designer Syaiful Baharim, who also tailored Ahmad’s baju melayu.

At the solemnization, vows are recited with the Imam and there is an exchange of gifts called the hantaran. Altogether there were 11 trays of gifts from Jaja to Ahmad and 9 from him to her (now that’s a lot of gift buying;)

Instead of a typical cake-cutting ceremony, Jaja kept it traditional by cutting pulut kuning that was made by her grandma.

Note: Jaja is also wearing vintage jewelry from her Grandma as well!

Cute namecards; who says a traditional ceremony can’t be modern at the same time? :)

A small kenduri (feast) was held after the ceremony for close friends and family before rushing off to the Royale Chulan hotel for the reception ceremony. For more on the reception… read on to the next post!