Wedding Guide Asia

They have been at your beck and call for the months leading up to your wedding. They’ve helped you make essential wedding-related decisions, they planned your bridal shower, hen’s night and bachelor party, but most importantly, they’ve tolerated your antics when you switched into bridezilla gear (yes ladies, you may not have noticed, but they sure did)! It’s only natural that you would want to show them your appreciation, but how? The tips below may give you some ideas!

For the Bridesmaids

1. The simplest gift you could get away with giving them is something they can use on your wedding day and even later on. Of course, you could consider their bridesmaid’s dress as a gift but customised earrings, a charm bracelet or even a shawl if you’re having your wedding in chilly weather works as well.

2. This is my favourite idea, make your bridesmaids goodie bags filled with their favourite things. This works especially well if you’re planning a destination wedding. Imagine this: a care-package filled with suntan oil, a lovely wrap, a beach-read (although I highly doubt they’ll have time to read),  or a travel guide if you’re having your wedding somewhere exotic.

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Childhood BFFs Steph & Jeni - now both Maids of Honour!

Quite apart from the fact that your bridal party may have to suffer the embarrassment of wearing meringue-like dresses in pastel hues, there’s also the bridezilla jitters they’ll have to cope with, and being your human shield from the myriad catastrophes that could happen on your wedding day. If you’re like TWG contributor Elaine Ho who picked her two childhood best friends Stephanie & Jeni as her maids of honour, decision making isn’t too difficult. For the rest of us though, here are some top tips to ensure you end up with the right people on your A-team for the Big Day:

• Size doesn’t matter in this case – If you’re planning an intimate little affair on the beach, a bridal party of 20 bridesmaids is going to look a touch incongruous. A good rule of thumb is to have a ratio of one bridesmaid and one groomsman to every 50 guests, ergo a large wedding will require a larger bridal party whilst a little beach do won’t

• Don’t judge a book by its cover – please, please, please don’t be superficial and eschew asking a good friend to be a bridesmaid just because she’s overweight and won’t “make the photo look good”; it’s just not done. Similarly, if you think someone can’t afford the accoutrements you have in mind, ask them anyway and give them the option of bowing out if that is the case, remembering to give them another task so they can still be part of the proceeding

Courtesy of FIFOTO Photography

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Courtesy of FIFOTO

There are many wedding traditions that modern brides tend to omit but one of the few customary rituals most brides still uphold is the practice of electing the bridal attendants. The history of bridesmaids dates back to Roman times when a tradition once existed where maidens dressed similarly to the bride would accompany her on her way to the groom’s village, in order to confuse evil spirits that were determined to destroy a fruitful marriage. This important tradition also served to protect the bride from robbers and kidnappers and hence, Roman law once required at least ten witnesses as part of the bridal party!

Here are a few dos and don’ts….

Do… choose a maid/matron of honour that will have enough time, energy and patience. She will be your sole comfort throughout the stresses of the wedding.

Don’t… underestimate how much responsibilities she will have, delegate some of the tasks to the other bridesmaids.

Do… choose to have only one or more bridesmaids. There isn’t a wrong or right number.

Don’t… overdo-it! It’s becomes silly when there are twenty single ladies standing next to you at the altar.

Do… be sensitive to the bridesmaids’ tastes, feelings and finances. Your size 16 bridesmaid will not look comfortable in a slinky satin dress.

Don’t… get offended when others make a different suggestion. After all, they want to look their best for your special day too.

Do… assume the expenses for the bridesmaids’ attire if you require them to wear a more extravagant gown. After-all, it is only polite…

Don’t… expect them to return the gowns, shoes etc. after the wedding

Do… say ‘thank you’ and show your appreciation and gratitude by giving the bridesmaids a little gift or ‘goody-bags’

Don’t… expect them to agree to your every whim! They are your bridesmaids, not your staff.

Last words… (more…)

If you think that asking your bridesmaids to be your bridesmaids is just a matter of sending a message on Facebook, think again. They will essentially be sacrificing months of their lives to serve as your unpaid slaves, whilst also blowing their own hard-earned cash on their outfits, your bridal shower and hen’s night. Add to that the fact that they will have to deal with your pre-wedding Bridezilla jitters, and you get an iota of what a big deal it actually is to say ‘yes’ to your request. It stands to reason then that you should invest a little time and effort into making your question a meaningful one. Write each of your bridesmaids-to-be personalised notes stating why it would mean the world to you for them to be your bridesmaid, and then pop the note into a box with a thoughtful gift like a charm bracelet, or handmade cookies (if they have a sweet tooth), before hand-delivering it to them. Seeing their eyes light up when they open the box will add to the significance of the occasion.